What to Say to Your Tween and Teen About the Products They Use Every Day
What to Say to Your Tween and Teen About the Products They Use Every Day
Exact scripts for talking to your tween or teen about skincare, deodorant, makeup, and personal care products without creating fear.
Your tween or teen may use 7 to 14 personal care products a day. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, face wash, moisturizer, sunscreen, acne products, hair products, lip balm, makeup, fragrance, nail products.
A 2026 study of U.S. high school students found that in the previous 24 hours, girls used a median of 14 personal care products and boys used a median of 7. This isn't just a "girl" issue.
Puberty is an incredibly important developmental window. Hormones are directing changes in the reproductive system, brain, bones, body composition, and skin and hair. Some ingredients used in personal care products have endocrine-disrupting properties, or are being studied for potential endocrine effects.
But here's the part I care about most: **the goal is not fear.**
I don't want my kids afraid of products. I want them able to read a label, question marketing, and make informed choices — skills they'll carry into adulthood.
Here is exactly what I say.
Script for a tween (approx. 9–12)
"You're getting older, which means you're probably going to start using more things like deodorant, skincare, hair products, lip products, and maybe makeup.
I don't want you to be scared of products or think that everything is 'toxic.' Most things aren't something we need to panic about.
But because we use some of these products every single day, I think it's worth choosing good ones when we can. Your body is also going through a lot of changes during puberty, so this is a great time to start learning how to look at ingredients and not just choose something because the package is cute or someone on TikTok or Instagram is using it.
You don't have to make perfect choices. I just want you to learn how to make informed ones."
If they ask, "But what's wrong with normal products?"
"Sometimes personal care products contain ingredients that scientists are studying because they may interfere with hormones, irritate the skin, or simply aren't ingredients we need.
That doesn't mean using one of those products once is going to hurt you.
We're just trying to reduce unnecessary exposures when there are easy alternatives."
Script for a teen (approx. 13–15)
"You're at an age where you're starting to make a lot more decisions about what goes on your body.
And I want those decisions to be yours.
My job isn't to make you afraid of makeup, skincare, perfume, or beauty products. It's to teach you how to be a smart consumer.
During puberty your hormones are helping guide huge changes in your brain and body. Some chemicals used in personal care products are being studied because of their potential effects on the endocrine system.
We can't, and don't need to, avoid every chemical in the world.
But if you're putting something on your body every single day and there's an equally good option with ingredients we're more comfortable with, I'd rather choose that one."
Script for an older teen
"I'm not going to police every product you buy.
What I do want you to understand is that beauty and wellness companies are very good at marketing to teenagers.
Something being viral, expensive, 'clean,' or natural doesn't automatically make it better.
Look at what you actually need. Look at the ingredients. Think about how often you're going to use it.
You're going to make your own choices for the rest of your life. I want to give you enough information that you can make those choices thoughtfully, not fearfully."
When they really want a product you wouldn't choose
Instead of:
"No. That's toxic."
Try:
"I see why you like it. Let's look at what's in it together and see if we can find something similar that we both feel good about."
Or:
"This isn't a product I'd choose for everyday use. If you really love it, let's talk about whether it's something you use occasionally versus something you put on your body every day."
When they say, "Everyone else uses it"
"I know. And I'm not asking you to be afraid of what your friends use or tell them their products are bad.
Different families make different choices.
I'm just teaching you why our family chooses certain products when we have the option."
How to talk about this without creating fear
What we don't want to say:
- "That's toxic."
- "That will mess up your hormones."
- "That product is dangerous."
- "Everything has chemicals in it."
- "You can't use what your friends use."
That can turn awareness into anxiety.
Instead, try:
"You don't need to be afraid of products. We're just learning how to make thoughtful choices about the things we use often."
"One product or one exposure isn't something to panic about. We're looking at what we use every day and choosing better options when we can."
"You're getting older, so I want you to learn how to look past the marketing and understand what you're buying."
The message I want them to walk away with
Not:
"Everything is toxic."
But:
"I understand that what I use every day matters, I know how to ask questions, and I know how to make better choices when I have a choice."
And a few practical notes
**More is not better.** Tweens do not need a 10-step skincare routine. A recent *Pediatrics* study of tween and teen skincare videos found routines averaged 6 products, and many included ingredients that can irritate young skin. For most tweens, skincare should be boring: gentle cleanser, moisturizer if needed, and sunscreen. Treat acne or another skin condition appropriately when it arises.
**Product choices actually do matter.** In the HERMOSA study, teenage girls switched to personal care products labeled free of several targeted chemicals for just three days. Researchers measured significant decreases in urinary levels of several phthalate, paraben, triclosan, and benzophenone-3 biomarkers. You don't have to eliminate every environmental exposure to make a difference.
**You do not need to throw everything away today.** Start with the products they use every single day — deodorant, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, skincare, sunscreen, makeup, lip products, fragrance. When something runs out, replace it with a better option.
Progress over perfection.
**I already did the digging for you.** My Tween + Teen Product Guide has my favorite personal care products in one place — skincare, deodorant, makeup, haircare, body wash, and more.