How to Have a Gentle C-Section and What to Expect

How to Have a Gentle C-Section: What I’ve Learned After Four C-Sections

As I prepare for my fifth C-section, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve learned through my previous four births and what has made each experience feel calmer, more personal and more connected.

With my first baby, I tried for a vaginal birth, but ultimately my birth ended in a C-section. One regret I have is that I didn’t try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with my second baby. At the same time, all of my babies are healthy and doing well, so I try not to look back and instead focus on being grateful for where we are today.

One thing that has made an enormous difference for me is having gentle C-sections. While a C-section is still major abdominal surgery, there are so many little things that can make the birth feel warmer, calmer and more connected. Having gentle C-sections has made my birth experiences so much better.

Whether you are planning a C-section or simply want to be prepared in case you need one, I think it can be helpful to have a sense of what to expect and what you can ask for.

Of course, every mother will have a different experience. Every body, pregnancy, birth and recovery is different, and everyone has a different tolerance for pain. This is simply what I have experienced through four C-sections and how I have taken care of myself during and after surgery.

As always, talk with your own doctor or medical team about what is appropriate and safe for you and your baby.

Before Surgery

In the pre-op room, you will typically fill out paperwork and have an IV placed. For my fourth C-section, they placed two IVs as an extra precaution.

I recommend wearing flip-flops so that if you have to use the bathroom, they are easy to slip on and off. And if you are like me and tend to run hot, slippers may not be very comfortable anyway! I also brought a small fan which helped me tremendously both before surgery and afterward.

During prep for surgery, you may experience a variety of sensations as the anesthesia is administered. I have felt very warm for a minute, experienced shivering and teeth chattering, and temporarily felt sensations like tiny pinpricks around my stomach and legs.

You may also become emotional. In addition to the completely understandable nerves and excitement, there is so much happening physically and emotionally—you are about to meet your baby!

I have also experienced a deep sensation of heaviness in my chest. If you feel uncomfortable, anxious, short of breath or simply feel that something isn’t right, tell your anesthesiologist immediately. They are right there to monitor you and can determine what you need.

Taking slow, deep breaths and reminding myself that I will soon meet my baby really helps my mindset.

One thing to know ahead of time is that operating rooms can be cold and very bright. You can ask for heated blankets to help keep you comfortable.

You can also ask whether the OR has adjustable or dimmable lighting. Some operating rooms have different lighting systems, so the lights around your face may be able to be dimmed while still giving the surgical team the light they need. It can make the environment feel much calmer and less clinical.

Creating a Gentle C-Section

For my births, I have requested what is often called a gentle or family-centered C-section.

The surgery itself is still a cesarean, but there may be ways to make the experience feel calmer, more personal and more connected. Depending on your hospital, doctor and the circumstances of your delivery, you may be able to make requests about what you and your partner see, hear and experience—and when.

These are some of the things I like to discuss with my provider ahead of time:

Music. Ask your provider and hospital whether you can play your own playlist during the C-section. Having familiar music playing can completely change the feeling of the room and help create a calmer environment.

Dimmer lighting. Ask whether the lights near your face can be dimmed while maintaining the lighting the surgical team needs.

A clear or lowered drape. You may be able to request a clear drape or ask for the drape to be lowered at the moment of birth so that you can watch your baby being born.

Immediate skin-to-skin. If you and baby are both medically stable, you can ask whether baby can be placed directly on your chest rather than automatically being cleaned and weighed first. I love having that immediate skin-to-skin connection.

Delayed cord clamping. You can discuss delayed cord clamping with your provider ahead of time. If you are planning cord-blood collection, talk with both your provider and collection company about timing, since delaying clamping can affect the amount of blood available for collection.

Vaginal seeding. Some parents are interested in vaginal seeding after a C-section, which involves exposing the baby to maternal vaginal fluids after birth. This is something to discuss with your OB and pediatrician well in advance rather than doing independently. There can be infection risks, and the evidence surrounding the potential benefits is still evolving. Your medical team can discuss appropriate screening as well as the potential risks and benefits for you and your baby.

Of course, all of these requests depend on what is medically safe for you and baby at the time. I think of a gentle C-section plan as a list of preferences rather than expectations.

One thing I always find helpful to know ahead of time is what the actual moment of delivery feels like. You will not feel pain when the baby is being delivered. Instead, you will feel strong pressure, pulling, and movement as the surgical team helps guide baby out. For me, it felt like a deep tugging sensation followed very quickly by a sense of relief and release once baby was out.

Once baby is on my chest, I sometimes begin to feel a little woozy. If that happens, my partner can take over and hold baby close while the doctors finish the surgery.

The Golden Hour

After surgery, I try to take advantage of the “golden hour” in recovery by keeping baby on my chest and beginning to nurse, assuming we are both doing well.

You may feel very hot, itchy or nauseated from medications or anesthesia. I experienced nausea during the first several hours after my C-sections.

Personally, I never took antihistamines for the itching or other side effects. If you are uncomfortable after surgery, let your medical team know so they can recommend the best option for you, particularly if you are breastfeeding.

I also like bringing my own swaddles for the recovery room. They cannot necessarily be used in the OR because of sterile-field requirements, so I pack a small zippered bag with two swaddles and a beanie for baby.

In the recovery room, I ask my nurse about an abdominal binder. I personally find that the support helps tremendously with my comfort after surgery. Ask your medical team to show you how to position and use one safely around your incision.

During the golden hour, I continue as much skin-to-skin contact as possible and continue trying to nurse, which gives baby access to colostrum.

I also bring Haakaa colostrum syringe collectors to the hospital. If you plan to collect and store colostrum, ask your nurse or lactation consultant to show you how to collect, label, refrigerate or freeze it safely.

When Your Milk Comes In

Milk production changes significantly during the first several days after birth, and everyone’s timeline is different. With my first child, my milk took about five days to really come in.

I loved having my LaVie heated breast massager to use before nursing. I also brought my Silverette nursing cups and placed them over my nipples whenever baby wasn’t nursing.

When learning how to nurse, I love the My Brest Friend nursing pillow. I use it either in a chair in the hospital room or while sitting up in bed. After a C-section, I personally find the football and cradle holds easiest. A lactation consultant can also help you find positions that keep pressure away from your incision.

Getting Your Body Moving Again

Bowel movements after abdominal surgery can be uncomfortable, so I pay attention to hydration, gentle movement and my medical team’s recommendations for preventing constipation.

Walking around the room and hallway, when your care team says it is safe to do so, can be incredibly helpful.

After my first C-section, I did need a suppository, but I haven’t needed one with my subsequent C-sections. If you are having difficulty with your first bowel movement, talk to your nurse or doctor about what is appropriate for you rather than waiting until you are extremely uncomfortable.

As I mentioned above, everyone’s recovery and tolerance for pain will be different. Listen to your body and communicate with your medical team about your pain.

Personally, after my second, third and fourth children, I only used narcotic pain medication on the first day and then transitioned to the medication regimen recommended by my doctor. I preferred this because narcotics made me feel very loopy. My own medication needs decreased as my recovery progressed, but pain management is incredibly individual.

There is no prize for being in pain. When I am hurting, nursing, sleeping and caring for my baby are all harder. Work with your doctor to find the pain-management approach that is right for you.

I also had supplements on hand during my recovery, including arnica, Leefy Organics and bromelain. Supplements can interact with medications or be inappropriate around surgery or breastfeeding, so I recommend reviewing everything you plan to take with your OB, surgeon, pharmacist or other qualified medical professional first.

Staying Comfortable and Hydrated

In the hospital, I also use compression socks or the compression devices provided by the hospital to help support circulation. Follow your medical team’s instructions about when and how to use them.

About a week postpartum, I personally got acupuncture and felt that it helped with my discomfort and swelling. If you are considering acupuncture or another complementary therapy after surgery, check with your provider about when it is safe to begin.

And hydration is a big one for me.

I brought a case of Mountain Valley glass water bottles to keep in my post-op room so I could easily stay hydrated. Yes, my husband thought it was overkill, but it made me feel better! You could also bring a reusable glass water bottle and ask the nurses to refill it.

Setting Up Home for C-Section Recovery

At home, I try to make everything I need easily accessible so I don’t have to constantly get up or call someone for help.

I keep a case of glass water bottles nearby so I always have water within reach. I also make myself a postpartum basket filled with easy snacks that I actually enjoy and can grab with one hand while nursing.

Some of my favorites are Gut Nuts almonds and cashews individual packs of olives from Thrive Market, and Star Walker beef jerky made without added nitrates or nitrites. Having nourishing, easy-to-grab foods right next to me makes such a difference, especially during those early days when I’m nursing constantly and don’t want to keep getting up.

I also set up a changing station close to my bed so I can change diapers without having to walk back and forth unnecessarily.

I keep several Haakaa milk catchers near my bed as well. I’ll sometimes place one on the opposite breast while baby nurses. Any expressed or collected breast milk should be handled and stored according to current breast-milk storage guidance.

Most Importantly: Give Yourself Grace

After four C-sections—and now as I prepare for my fifth—I’ve learned that there is so much about birth that we simply cannot control.

I tried for a vaginal birth with my first and ended up having a C-section. I do sometimes wish I had tried for a VBAC with my second. But I also have four healthy babies who are doing well, and I try not to spend too much time looking backward at what I might have done differently.

Instead, I’ve focused on making each C-section birth experience as peaceful, connected and personal as possible.

For me, gentle C-sections have completely changed the experience for the better.

A C-section is major abdominal surgery, but it is also the birth of your baby. Those two things can exist together. The operating room can still be a place where you hear music you love, where the lights around you feel softer, where your partner is close, where you watch your baby being born if you choose, and where your baby is brought to your chest as soon as it is medically safe.

My biggest advice is to prepare ahead of time and talk through your preferences with your provider before your birth. Ask about the music. Ask about dimming the lights. Ask about the drape. Ask about immediate skin-to-skin. Talk about delayed cord clamping and anything else that matters to you.

Not everything will necessarily go according to plan, and medical needs will always come first. But even small changes can make a C-section feel much more like your baby’s birth rather than simply a surgery.

And then, when the moment comes, breathe deeply.

Soon, your baby will be in your arms.

If you want, I can also tighten the “pressure vs pain” line to make it even more reassuring/less clinical, or place it earlier so readers see it before the surgery section.