Explaining Alzheimer’s to a 6 and 10 year old

Explaining Alzheimer’s to a 6 and 10 year old

I would speak to them separately because a 10 year old can understand the illness more directly, while a 6 year old will often connect more easily through imagery. Be truthful, but only give as much information as they are asking for. Children should also hear clearly that they did not cause it, they cannot catch it, and Grandpa’s love for them has not disappeared.

For the 10 year old

You might say: “Grandpa has an illness called Alzheimer’s. It affects the part of his brain that helps him remember, find words and understand what is happening around him. That is why he may repeat himself, become confused or sometimes act differently.

He isn’t choosing it, and it isn’t because of anything you did. You cannot catch Alzheimer’s from him. Even when Grandpa has trouble showing it or remembering certain things, he still deserves our patience, kindness and respect. You may always ask me questions, even if they feel scary or sad.”

Let the 10 year old know it is normal to feel sad, embarrassed, frustrated or even not want to be around him sometimes. They should never be expected to become a caregiver.

For the 6 year old, harder concepts are sometimes easier to tell in a story with lots of visual imagery.

Once there was a little garden filled with blue forget-me-not flowers.

Every morning, the flowers opened their tiny blue faces to the sun. They remembered the warm rain, the buzzing bees and all the children who had visited the garden.

But one older flower began having trouble remembering. Sometimes she forgot which way the sun would rise. Sometimes she called a butterfly by the wrong name. Sometimes she asked the same question again and again.

The other flowers did not become angry with her. They gently turned their petals toward her and said, “The sun is over here. We are beside you.”

The older flower could not always remember every name or every story, but deep inside her roots, the love she had grown through all the seasons was still there.

Grandpa’s brain is a little like that older forget-me-not flower. His remembering is becoming harder, so he may become confused or say things more than once. We may need to remind him gently and help him feel safe.

And just like the flower, even when Grandpa cannot find every memory, he is still Grandpa, and he is still surrounded by our love.

Then keep it concrete: “You cannot catch what Grandpa has, and nothing you did caused it. Your job is simply to be his grandchild. You may hold his hand, show him a picture, sing him a familiar song or sit beside him, and you may always come to me when something feels confusing.”

I would avoid telling the child that Grandpa “just forgets things,” because they may then worry that their own everyday forgetfulness means they have Alzheimer’s. Instead, explain that it is a specific illness affecting his brain. Alzheimer’s can eventually affect communication, reasoning and recognition, not only memory.