I'm often asked about how to approach tantrums and if I can give any advice for how parents can effectively do the same. Here's what I've found to work using the stroller as an example.
First, you need to ask if they are hungry or tired. If they’re tired, then say, “You may sit in the stroller."
If they don’t want to and you truly need them to sit in the stroller, then say, “Mommy needs to keep you safe so you have to stay in the stroller. Mommy can put you in the stroller or you can get in by yourself.”
When they still refuse to get in say, “Then mommy will put you in.” If they continue to freak out, you calmly tell them again, “Mommy can put you in the stroller or you can go in by yourself.”
If your child still melts down, then it’s time to go home. Make sure to tell them “you are not ready to listen to mommy so we have to go home.” If you cannot go home, you say, “You are not listening to mommy, we need to take a break until you are calm.”
Also tell them “It’s ok to be upset. Sometimes mommy has to do things that she doesn’t want to do, but mommy needs to keep you safe. Let’s take a break to calm down.”
Let them cool off for a few minutes and then try again.